The Weekend of Chocolate

The party was not FAIL.

YAY! Fun was had by all. Children were kept out of trouble. A few grownups got into trouble or at least drank too much. (Although, I was not one of them. As I was too focused on the children. Although, I did miss when the sheriff stopped to speak to the 12 year old and his best friend for LYING IN THE MIDDLE OF A DARK ROAD AT 9:30 at NIGHT. The husband was on the front porch "watching" the boys play football in the road while I supervised smaller children play ping pong and get hopped up on sugar in the garage. End of extremely long parenthetical side.)

I realized this morning while I read from my feeder that I did not take one single photo of the event. Seriously, WTF? Does it not say photographer on my degree? So I guess I still get a big FAIL on that.

I am proud to announce I only ate 2 pieces of candy on Halloween. And 2 brownies. And 1 slice of pizza. However, the rest of the weekend I ate my body weight in chocolate. It was to save the children. Really. All that chocolate isn't good for them. No really, that's what I'm told. To be fair, they ate their body weights in chocolate also. Fortunately their body weights are considerably less then mine.

And now I must get back to work...

FAIL

I'm kinda feeling like I get a big FAIL on life right now. Dinners not made. House not clean. Laundry needing to be done. Blog not updated. Ever.

Life is kicking my ass and yet it's all good. I'm happy. It's amazing how the people in my life make all the difference. When they're happy? I'm happy. That and my job. Love the new job. That alone makes life so much better.

In other news which is starting to look like another possible FAIL...

I told the kids we'd have a Halloween party. Yeah, not sure what I was thinking. Actually, I do. I was thinking that instead of the jr. high kids out on the streets getting into trouble, they could hang out in our garage. Then the oldest informed me all his friends wanted to go trick-or-treating. So the party became a sort of after-party. A get-off-the-streets-and-into-my-garage-where-I-can-keep-an-eye-on-you party.

We made the guest list. I bought some decorations. We cleaned the garage. I bought food. The kids told me they invited more people. We cleaned the garage. We decorated. I bought more decorations. The kids ran out of invites and invited more kids. We brought the air hockey table into the garage to put near the ping pong table. I bought more decorations. I now have no idea who or how many kids are coming, how many families or what the hell is going on.

The deal is suppose to be that once they come to the house they can't leave until a parent picks them up. (I live in a very heavily trick or treating trafficked neighborhood.) NOW my oldest tells me that a bunch of them are meeting up BEFORE trick or treating at our house. NOT part of the plan. Also, it was suppose to be mostly for his friends with a couple of the youngers' thrown in. Now the other three each have a handful of kids invited.

What to do? I think I may be going with the whole wing it thing. What happens happens and if we run out of food they can eat their candy. That and I'm locking them all in the garage so no one escapes.

What say you? FAIL? I say I agree, FAIL.

Why God, Why?

I just realized I can't by Clorox Toilet Bowl Cleaner with Teflon in the store anymore. In fact, I can only find it online by the case. Clorox doesn't even list it on it's site anymore.

I stopped using it because I couldn't find it. Every time I had to buy more toilet cleaner I assumed it would be back on the shelf the next time. Then I tried different stores. Now I'm trying on the internet.

I wasn't sure it made a difference but it totally does. It keeps the bowls cleaner so much longer. Why, why can't I get it? I really don't want to have to order a CASE of cleaner. I'm guessing the shipping will be completely unreasonable too.

I'm really worried this means they are discontinuing this product. Clorox? If you ever see this, please, PLEASE for the love of my sanity in a house of 5 males, DO. NOT. DISCONTINUE YOUR TEFLON TOILET CLEANER.

Please.

Do You Have Dinner Plans?

The last couple months my dinner plans have not been coming together as I hoped.

This past winter I instituted a new policy stating that each individual in the house had to pick one meal for the following week. I would shop for all the ingredients and make the dishes when time, schedules and my mood dictated. If for some reason your meal was bumped, I made it the following week. If you wanted to choose the same meal every week. Fine. The only rule was you could not pick something someone else had already chosen. (i.e. pizza 4 nights)

The plan worked very well for many months. And then Spring sports hit and it was a frozen food free-for-all.

Now it's time to settle back down and eat real food once again. Except now no one knows what they want. I hate, hate, HATE picking meals every week. Every day of every week. Every month of every year. Only to be told they hate what I've made. Is it not enough I must COOK all the meals? Shop for all the meals? I have to plan the meals too? I suppose it wouldn't be so bad if the younger people in house the didn't complain so much - but they do.

Anyway, last week I read Anne Glamore's recipes. Her fabulous, fabulous recipes. Recipes that contained foods my children might actually eat without gagging. Boy tested and approved meals. YAY Anne!

So far I have made 3 of the 4 recipes. Tonight will be #4. And although I forgot to take photos of the finished dishes, I shall still report the results.

Meal #1:
Bowties with Peas and Prosciutto - Except I made it with Penne because that's what I had on hand.
After all of the children spend most of meal DYING because, "What IS that? Are those peas? I HATE peas!" They ate it. There may have been a bit of Ranch dressing involved at the end for the piles of peas left at the bottom of the bowls - but all-in-all SUCCESS! The children also suggested I make it with broccoli next time. The husband prefers peas but suggested bowties would have been better. Whatever. They ate it.

Meal #2:
Bulgogi with Jasmine Rice and Applesauce
HUGE SUCCESS! Not a speck of rice left. They ate all 2 lbs of beef, 6 cups of rice and were saddened when it was gone. My youngest wants to learn how to make it himself. Now if someone could just tell me how to pronounce it.

Meal #3
Chicken Piccata Pasta Toss
Another success. Not quite as huge as the Bulgogi but they all ate it. It was a bit bland for me. I may have to add something next time but the kids did like it.

Tonight: Pork Lo Mein

So Anne, A HUGE thank you! Some new dinners to toss into the rotation.

The weekend

Let's see, the weekend...

It was busy. But not in the usual ways. My weekend started Friday (it always does). And soon it will end on Saturday night again (sniff). But for now I have glorious 3-day weekends.

Friday the children tried to kill me with their arguing and fighting and general pain-in-the-assness. No, really. It is August and all. I know you're stunned. The best argument though was one that ended in tears (not even mine). It was only slightly funny at the time because ENOUGH WITH THE ARGUING ALREADY!!! But it is sure to amuse at least one of you.

THE BEST ARGUMENT EVA:

Scene: the minivan

Participants: The 7 y/o & 8 y/o

Background: Occasionally these two like to ask me to "open their windows". I put that in quotes because they were sitting in the middle seats of the van and the windows don't actually open. I pretend to push a button and make a burrrrr noise and then they ask me to open and close their windows a couple more times.

Friday:
They both asked me to "put down their windows" and I obliged by making the burrrr noise. I then got the brilliant idea to tell them they had their own controls for said windows. They then proceeded to "open and close" the imaginary windows. Soon after they actually got in a fight and the 7 y/o cried real tears because "Dylan keeps closing my window and won't let me keep it open. Whhhaaaaaaa."

Yes. For real. I had to "put a lock on Dylan's control".

This is my life. Don't you wish you were me?

One Thing That Has Happened In My Absence From "The Blog"

Before:



During:



After:



It only took me a little over a week to finally send all that hair to Locks Of Love. But it's on its way now.

School Is Out!

Today is the first day of summer vacation. Oh how I wish I could sleep in and hang with the children. Although yesterday? It was a bit taxing with 10 boys hanging out after school. The good news was I only had to feed 7 of them. The bad news is the youngest 3 almost drove me to drink what with the hooting and hollering and LOUD laughter that was not cute and precious but LOUD (did I mention LOUD?) and obnoxious.

Today I got to get up and get ready for work in peace and quiet. There was no one to yank out of bed and threaten life and limb if they didn't get moving. I was out of the house in less than an hour and folded a load of laundry, put a new batch in the washer and left a list of chores for the children to choose from. Whether or not they get done is another matter.

I also have made a list of things I must do. Soon. Like making a list of breakfast choices, lunch choices and a new chore chart. Make sure there is actual food in the house to choose from. And for the love of God, go to my second job and finish up what needs to be done for the summer. I am so behind! But it is hard to find time to go in when they are open and someone is around to watch the kids.

Still, the relief I felt at not having to worry about lunches and homework and end of year activities has been lovely. Now if it would stop raining on baseball night so we could finish the regular season already...

Something's Not Right...

A very strange thing happened on Wednesday.

I went to my oldest son's practice for his travel baseball team and there were *gasp* girls on the fields. As in, Wednesdays are softball night at the fields.

I then realized I've never been there on a softball night. I knew almost none of the parents. And the actual air felt different. Very different. I swear I could feel the estrogen floating about and instead of making me more comfortable (as one might assume) it freaked me the hell out. I felt VERY uncomfortable. The balance of the universe was off. In fact, it was so bad I had to get out of there. There was cheering and screeching and... pink. Nothing I'm used to.

So I left and went to lacrosse practice where there were all boys and parents I recognized. The testosterone was comforting and the world was right again.

Is this not the oddest thing you've ever heard? I was there and I still find it odd. Very odd.

Life is Getting Good

My oldest mowed the lawn for the 1st time all by himself yesterday...

Whoooohoooooo!

The Practice Taxi is Back

The baseball. The lacrosse. All the damn meetings and whatnot. Good lord, I can't even get to the friggin' grocery store. And you want to know why I haven't blogged? Are you kidding me?

To update from the last post: the snow is gone. But 49 is too cold to be standing outside in the wind while children practice various sports. Saturday's lacrosse game? At 9 AM on a very windy hill in frigid temps? Not fun. For anyone. Even the players who were running their little bottoms off were complaining of the cold.

It is cold here. And gray. And windy. I thought it was May. Am I wrong?

SNOW. DAY.

I got up at 5 freakin' 30 this morning. FIVE-THIRTY. This is not a normal occurrence. Usually I get up at 6:40. See the difference here? 5:30. 6:40. 70 whole minutes of sleep is the difference.

Anyway, every other Monday I must get up at the crack ass of dawn so I can get to work and get some stuff done before a meeting I have later in the morning. So today, the first day after April vacation, I get up. I drag the children from bed, manage to have almost everyone ready to walk out the door for just past seven and the phone rings...

A neighbor has seen one of my children waiting for the bus. In the snow. (Have I mentioned it's APRIL SIXTEENTH????) And school was canceled. Was it canceled when I watched the news while making coffee? No. Was it canceled while I made lunches? No. Was it canceled while I dragged children from bed? No.

It was canceled while I was in the shower and everyone was getting ready.

See the evidence:

Just the Facts

So much news.

So little time. Ok, really: So much laziness.

So much for the truth. Now onto facts...

Fact #1: I now have Fridays off. OFF. O.F.F.
I added an hour to my work day Monday-Thursday and have Fridays OFF. I'm giddy with the freedom. Same # of hours a week only 4 days instead of 5. Well, I was working 6 days a week because of my other job but now it is just Sun - Thursday. Two whole days off! Whooohoooo! A day to do laundry and dishes, schedule appointments and shop. Today was my first Friday off, actually, last Friday was my first Friday off but it was before I asked to change my hours. It was just suppose to be a one time deal because of Fact #2 (see below). It worked though and now it is permanent. Unless it doesn't work out. Then it is un-permanent. But for now, it's happening. And I am giddy. I actually feel like I'm playing hooky or something. Like I'm skipping out even though I put in my hours this week. A day off! For real! Giddy, I tell you.

I stayed in my pj's until 2 and did laundry and dishes and picked up the house a bit. My God! I had forgotten the loveliness that is being alone.

Fact #2: TJ had his adnoids out last Friday.
I wasn't really going to write about it because:

A) Respecting his privacy and all.

B) It is very minor surgery that I was anxious about (because I'm a mom). That and the fact they give you a month to entertain every horror you've ever heard about and some you just make up in your head. A month! Why, oh why, can they not just schedule surgery for the day after it is decided the child needs it? Why? My anxiety would have not had a chance to gather its forces and strangle me with fear.

So now you are asking why? Why am I writing about it. Well because. The child asked me if I was going to and when I said no he said I should and he wanted me to. So... there you have it.

Now for the fun part of fact #2: My son was drunk and seeing double and it was FUNNY.
They gave him some medication to take the edge off before the surgery and watching it take affect may have made me forget a bit of the anxiety... until they rolled him away. He told us the ceiling was pulsating and we looked weird. And then he giggled. When the anesthesiologist came by to check on him he giggled some more and pointed at him. Then he told him he had 4 eyes and 2 noses. Then more giggling may have occurred. It was really very entertaining. There was also a moment when my husband took off his baseball cap, held it out next to him and said, "Meet my friend." TJ made a horrified face. Then we all collapsed into a fit of giggles. Or maybe that was just me. It was funny. Trust me. Possibly the second best part of the whole day. Or maybe the third. The first being TJ making to the bathroom and back without throwing up or passing out. The second being spending the day on the couch with him watching movies we'd rented just for the occasion.

Fact #3: I'm a terrible, no good, very bad parent.
As an early Hanukkah present we took the older two to a concert. Their first concert. TJ's favorite musician.

First, we walked a half mile in the rain, stood in a very long line in the rain before getting in and then power walked back to the car (in the rain) after the show. All this the DAY AFTER TJ's surgery. In our defense, we bought the tickets a couple of months ago and promptly forgot all about them. I scheduled the surgery about a month later and STILL did not realize about the concert/surgery coinciding until the week before when my SIL mentioned the show. At which point I shrieked, "WE CAN NOT GO. My baby is having SURGERY." And there was much eye rolling for all the drama by the other family members. And to be fair, the Dr. okayed it if he was feeling up to it. It was not decided until the final moments whether or not we really were going to go but he insisted he was ok, so go, we did.

The other reason I was the T,NG,VB Parent was the show was Ben Folds. Tell me, have any of you seen Ben Folds in concert?

I am so not up with things. (Also known as Fact #4)

It was at a local college and it was a good show. It was fun and BF seemed to be having fun and I was enjoying myself until... until the major swearing started and I got a bit uncomfortable seated next to my 10 & 11 year olds. And then, the inappropriate song (**warning: not work or kid safe**) started. The inappropriate song was being sung in good fun and all - but to quote my sister-in-law, "I was very uncomfortable during that last song." To which I replied, "Try being their mother and listening to that while sitting next to them." To which my husband replied, "I pretended I was somewhere else. What else could I do."

I was sure CPS would be waiting at our door when we got home. Fortunately, so far it has not seemed to harm TJ's health any and as far as "the song" goes, we have decided to never speak of it again.

And that is all. For now.

I must get back to my Laundry! and Cooking! and caring of the children! for now they are home again and I am no longer alone.

The Horror

As a parent I want my kids to grow bigger than I am. I've always known they will someday grow taller and bigger and stronger.

So tell me why I freaked out a couple of weeks ago when my oldest, my 11 1/2 year old, needed ADULT size sneakers. It's not like I didn't know it was going to happen.

Then, just as I'm beginning to accept the boy has man size feet he deals me another blow.

He was getting ready to leave for Temple Saturday morning (it's Rosh Hashanah people) and put on his "dress" shoes. And by dress shoes I mean what qualifies as dress shoes in my boys' world - Land's End All Weather Mocs. They were a bit too big last year and I was confident they would fit him...

Of course, you guessed it, they were too small. But, BUT, he wore mine. MINE. And they were a bit small apparently. SMALL. MY SHOES WERE TOO SMALL FOR MY CHILD.

How does this happen? On the one hand I'm glad. I'm praying all the boys are taller than me & their father. (We've been called the Shetland people by friends because we're both so short.) But on the other hand, MY SON'S FEET ARE THE SAME SIZE AS MINE.

I'm not ready.

Favorite Photo of the Week

Can you believe a whole week has gone by and I haven't blogged? I can't. And I can't seem to catch my breath. It was a week of adjusting (still haven't). A week of end of school activities. A week of preparing for my baby's 6th birthday. Let me repeat: my BABY'S. SIXTH. BIRTHDAY. GAH!

He gets a party this year. Yes, it's true. My kids only get a "friend" party every other year. Two one year and two the next. I'm mean like that.

So I decided to do an easy party. A baseball party. A party with no annoying little favors. I'll make baseball bracelets! But the stores have no baseball beads. No problem, I'll make baseball beads. And the bracelets. And personalized labels for the water bottles. (According to Zach, we must have water if baseball is being played.)

And no food. Just cake. Cupcakes that look like baseballs. Easy. Party 2-4pm. Water and cupcakes. And the only activity shall be baseball. Piece of cake. I'm brilliant.

HA. It seems I need more time. Time to make bracelets and labels and cupcakes. Time with which I need to grocery shop. And run errands. And maybe clean the bathrooms because I'm pretty sure the grime ate one of the children but I haven't had time to do a head count. Time I still haven't figured out since starting my new job. (Which I still love. Although the excitement over the meetings? Gone. How does anyone accomplish anything with all the meetings? And I'm still not sure WHY I must attend.)

And it seems I am lame. Cupcakes and water are not acceptable party foods. Well, they are acceptable but they are not enough. There must be snacks and there should probably be pizza. And soda. Or juice.

Ah, but why are we here? And what am I doing. There is gymnastics today and a party tomorrow and I'm blogging. GAH!

So, with no further ado,

1. Go here.
2. Pick your favorite photo.
3. Come back here and leave your favorite in the comments.

Thank you.

Last week's winner by one vote: Poppy 1
Runner up: Poppy 2
Close 3rd: Pine 1

Thanks to everyone who voted!