Teflon Brain

My oldest son, Alex, has always been a quick study. He learned his multiplication tables last year in a flash. But suddenly he has forgotten them all. (Okay, maybe not ALL but most.) Over the summer I'd find a random number here and there. Nothing to be too concerned about. But last night I found numbers leaking out his ears. I tried tying a towel around his head while we were working on his math in the hopes of keeping the damn numbers in, only to have them start oozing out his pores.

I'm not sure if it is a haze of hormones or the fumes from the teflon toilet bowl cleaner he uses when cleaning the upstairs toilet. The numbers seem to be sliding out faster than we can put them in. This morning there was a pile on his pillow and every evening they're being swept from under the kitchen table with the dinner crumbs.

The numbers tend to slide like an omelet out of a teflon pan and now I'm worried about Tyler. See, he cleans the downstairs toilet and uses the same teflon cleaner. His numbers seem to be staying put but his spelling seems to be deteriorating. Is it only a matter of time before I start finding letters sprinkled about the house with the usual legos?

I should know better than to believe a cleaner could deliver on its promises of keeping the bowl clean longer. I mean, really, teflon in a bottle? Anything that is suppose to be that good either doesn't work or they find out later it's highly toxic.

The scariest thing about this is that he is the oldest of my boys. That means this is only the beginning. We are talking years and years of numbers & letters hiding under the couch and collecting in the corners. What I want to know is how long does this last? Do the effects wear off? Do they have permanent Teflon brain? What if it reaches the other children? What if it slicks up my brain? Jeff's? The amount of information loose around the house will rival the dust bunnies. I see gang wars in our future. We will be living in a battleground.

The dust bunnies vs. random math facts
gymnastic schedules vs crayfish anatomy
letters of the alphabet vs facts about NY

So now I say... just SAY NO to teflon toilet cleaner!

(or it could just be the hormones)